A year and fourteen days ago, the celebration of me and you joined together as one has reached to its first year. We knocked down one, and hopefully we’ll knock down many more.
To commemorate, with all the mushy notes on the card, prosecco, and stuff, I asked you an important question which I wasn’t sure if you answered or not; and without delay and a pause, you replied with a question, “What is it with you that you cannot give up something about yourself?” My initial thought was you were asking an innocent question. Then, I pondered and wandered and puzzled at the thought of you asking a very unexpected question.
So I asked myself, “Hmn, this is not good, is it?”.
So I thought about things. Figured out many things. Thinking clearly of what you’ve just asked. Recollecting our first two, three, four, and six months of marriage and thought about the months after six months of being married. I thought about things that I did and didn’t do. Stuff that may seem not healthy for our relationship, or issues that may resurface at the end. How unfortunate it seemed that nothing came back to me? Hmn, how sad? I paced back and forth while thinking. What is it that I couldn’t give up? I could if I know I should? Or I shouldn’t? But what happened during those months? Did I whack one of your kin? Smudge your name or what?
Oh well, nothing could be done now, eh? I guess I will just do better on the second year. What do you say of that?
Then…you were shaking your head and shrugged.
“What did I do this time?”, I asked.
“This, this…this…can’t you see?”, you pointed.
“Hmn, what exactly”?
“Whatever this you do whenever I ask you a question”.
“You do this pace back and forth thinking, lost in thoughts, and left me hanging hoping to hear an answer . But at the end you will never communicate with me. You give communication a bad name. Will you learn to think out loud?”
“Oh..well dear…”, I said then pace again.
That’s worth thinking about.